Motherfucking code of motherfucking conduct, motherfucker.

Tim O'Reilly apparently wants the internet to be a giant hugbox. In his "Blogger's Code of Conduct" he outlines ways to make the internet more safe and fun for the kids, retards, and liberals who think blogging actually does anything. Here's a taste of all of it:

1. Take responsibility not just for your own words, but for the comments you allow on your blog.
2. Label your tolerance level for abusive comments.
3. Consider eliminating anonymous comments.
4. Ignore the trolls.
5. Take the conversation offline, and talk directly, or find an intermediary who can do so.
6. If you know someone who is behaving badly, tell them so.
7. Don't say anything online that you wouldn't say in person.

Because I'm way more of an arrogant asshole than ol' Tim, I decided to come up with my own code of conduct for the oh-so-holy tubes. After all, anyone with the time ability to make a list must obviously be smart enough to fill it with fact and well thought out ideas. 5 minutes in notepad.exe:

1. Take responsibility for nothing, even if something was blatantly your fault. It's more funny that way.
2. Tolerate abusive comments. The more abusive a comment is, the more you should leave it up.
3. Anonymous comments are good. They allow people to be both abusive and invisible.
4. Got trolls? Join in the fun.
5. Keep the conversation online. Words may hurt, but words never shot anyone. Words are not black people.
6. If you know someone who is behaving badly, tell them to keep up the good work.
7. Make sure everything you say online is something you wouldn't say in person. After all, when else are you going to get the opportunity to tell someone to swim in a river of dicks?



EDIT: I don't dislike Tim O'Reilly. I enjoy his technical manuals very much, but this doesn't make me agree with him on everything.