I figured as much.

BEAN BACK

[23:03] ME: Yes, it will. I have not bean back in about three months.
[23:03] ME: bean back in about three months.
[23:03] ME: bean back
[23:03] HOMIE: O_O
[23:03] ME: it's like the unholy spawn of a beaner and a wetback

Software Project

Due to mounting legal pressure from my datacenter, the NAACP, the ACLU, the ADL, the GNAA, NAMBLA, and people searching google worldwide, I have been forced to remove my old software project. Many apologies to my three-person fanbase.

Delicious Tentacles

[23:15] Jaymack: hey have you played stalker

[23:15] Me: nope

[23:15] Me: why do I need to play that

[23:15] Me: I live that

[23:15] Jaymack: I dunno I bought it on the steam program

[23:16] Me: any good?

[23:16] Jaymack: haven’t played it yet it's still downloading

[23:16] Me: huh

[23:16] Me: you should get the bald game

[23:16] Jaymack: you run around near Chernobyl killing shit so I don’t see how I could go wrong

[23:16] Jaymack: well

[23:16] Jaymack: radiation causes baldness

[23:17] Me: it also causes certain people to do a shitty webcomic and make friends with a guy who is piglike in appearance

[23:17] Jaymack: hey don’t hate on radiation it won us world war 2

[23:18] Me: And possibly gave us hentai

[23:18] Me: ok

[23:18] Me: I love radiation

Two-hand Backdoor-Jitsu

Jaymack: naruto is pissing me off
Jaymack: they're starting to stretch the manga too
Jaymack: ac is taking forever to torrent
Me: LOLOL GOATSE
Jaymack: wot
Me: they're starting to stretch the man

Regards To The Brain Down There

Selective excerpts from a chat log.

Jaymack: write a blog entry about testicles
Me: why?
Jaymack: idk
Me: When it's cold, they look like a brain
Jaymack: k write about that
Me: no
Jaymack: write it
Me: why?
Jaymack: idk
Jaymack: just do it
Jaymack: also
Jaymack: write it from the point of view of a sapporo prostitute
Me: I was with you up to that point.
Jaymack: like OH THEY SO YERROW AND SMARR

Space Moose

Space Moose kicks ass.
Just thought I would let you know.

Motherfucking code of motherfucking conduct, motherfucker.

Tim O'Reilly apparently wants the internet to be a giant hugbox. In his "Blogger's Code of Conduct" he outlines ways to make the internet more safe and fun for the kids, retards, and liberals who think blogging actually does anything. Here's a taste of all of it:

1. Take responsibility not just for your own words, but for the comments you allow on your blog.
2. Label your tolerance level for abusive comments.
3. Consider eliminating anonymous comments.
4. Ignore the trolls.
5. Take the conversation offline, and talk directly, or find an intermediary who can do so.
6. If you know someone who is behaving badly, tell them so.
7. Don't say anything online that you wouldn't say in person.

Because I'm way more of an arrogant asshole than ol' Tim, I decided to come up with my own code of conduct for the oh-so-holy tubes. After all, anyone with the time ability to make a list must obviously be smart enough to fill it with fact and well thought out ideas. 5 minutes in notepad.exe:

1. Take responsibility for nothing, even if something was blatantly your fault. It's more funny that way.
2. Tolerate abusive comments. The more abusive a comment is, the more you should leave it up.
3. Anonymous comments are good. They allow people to be both abusive and invisible.
4. Got trolls? Join in the fun.
5. Keep the conversation online. Words may hurt, but words never shot anyone. Words are not black people.
6. If you know someone who is behaving badly, tell them to keep up the good work.
7. Make sure everything you say online is something you wouldn't say in person. After all, when else are you going to get the opportunity to tell someone to swim in a river of dicks?



EDIT: I don't dislike Tim O'Reilly. I enjoy his technical manuals very much, but this doesn't make me agree with him on everything.

Paul Fetch

EDIT: Paul Fetch is possibly the most amazing troll ever.
http://www.youtube.com/mrfetch

Omega Impressions

A friend sent me a link to a website that would generate an acronym for anything. After getting bored entering my name and queries such as 'goatse' I decided to see if this macro was racist. That's right. Programs can be racist. I once saw an email flooder call a man the same racial slur at least 100 times in a row. Granted, I had set it to do that, but if the program had not agreed with what I had told it to say, it could have easily resisted. Obviously. So I passed 'Black Person' through the site, and I was offended, shortly after losing consciousness from laughing my goatsehole straight off. Give it a try. I haven't tried entering 'Covetous Jews' or 'Culture-free Wife-beating Crackers' yet. You try those.

http://omegaimpressions.com/

Nacturnal staff, ideot.

The current MMO internet cancer I indulge in is a nifty little game called “MapleStory.” For quite some time, it had a rather affable community of people who knew what they were doing and could spell. That all went to shit somewhere around first quarter 2007. You remember… that’s when an influx of underage e-bacteria found their way on to the internet for the first time. These are the type of undereducated individuals who do not understand why ‘nerd’ is not an effective internet insult. So this morning some guy named ‘FROTD’ comes in to my FM store and brilliantly states:

"FROTD: nacturnal staff"

"FROTD: ideot"

This one broke my brain. It's amazing how many 13yearold boys on the internet these days think that their opinion matters. I would think his intent was to make me feel bad... maybe. I just laughed my ass off. It reminded me of the "Get a brain morans - Go USA" meme of the old internet. I find myself reminded of that meme far too often these days.

Sort of like Dracula, but with more angst.

I was recently looking at a banned VampireFreaks user's page, and the ban notice was:

This User Has Been Suspended

by VF Admin for: Masturbating into the mainstream

Until: Forever, fuck off.

This raises the question: If mainstream shit dickery is a bannable offense, why are there any users who are not banned? A neatly packaged rebellion is still neatly packaged. Embracing a trend is not a bad thing per se; after all, we were all nervous teenagers with a need to align ourselves with something greater than ourselves at some point. But when an individual using a mostly-premade identity wails on someone carrying out the same shallow soul-searching process, albeit the process happens to have a different label attached, it simply states the inability of the aggressor to see the big picture. Perhaps the admin in question felt witty - hell, maybe they felt downright intelligent for spotting someone from a mildly different clique. I can tell you that all other involved parties who were not immediately enraged by the presence of someone with a different label than themselves can easily see how downright transparent, insecure, and attention-hungry the admin-in-question was.